Art Envy: My green-eyed monster

Art Envy: My green-eyed monster

Feelings of uncertainty

It can come out of nowhere. I’m humming along, invested in what I’m making. I am in the groove and knee deep in creation. Then…wham. It could be an Instagram or Facebook post or newsletter touting another artist’s accomplishment, an announcement for an exhibit from which I got rejected, an artist’s solo show at a museum. It can seem like every other artist I know is succeeding. Feelings of uncertainty and insecurity flood me and my green-eyed monster roars back. As do the voices. “I’m not far enough along. I’m missing something. Why didn’t this happen for me? My work isn’t …(fill in the blank)…good enough…conceptual enough…contemporary enough. Immediately after these feelings cascade in, I start to feel childish and petty. Small. This is quickly followed by annoyance and shame. I am genuinely excited for my artist friends and peers and happy they are achieving their goals. I do not like the sensation of envy. Green does not look good on me. So I try to become curious about what is actually triggering my green-eyed monster. Getting curious allows room to evaluate what is underneath those unwelcome feelings of envy.

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Exploring Cyanotype: In My Head and on The Paper

Exploring Cyanotype: In My Head and on The Paper

Much of my work entails a lot of preparation

I enjoy this part of the process:

. . . the idea. . .beginning the steps to make what is in my mind a reality

. . . the decisions involved — color, material, process

. . . dying tea bags, opening, closing, composing before stitching

. . . burning paper…choosing the book . . . choosing the paper

. . . what the material conveys and how it portrays content and meaning.

Always the processes and materials I choose include an element of surprise, something I cannot control. This often yields unexpected and unanticipated results that stimulate whole new paths of exploration.

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My Obsession: Art Tools and Materials

My Obsession: Art Tools and Materials

I have a confession to make...

I have an art materials obsession. By art materials I mean anything and everything I think will help me physically manifest my ideas. The temptation to seek out new materials and tools pops up throughout the year but is particularly acute in the fall when the allure of new materials becomes a clarion call. For me September still marks the “new year,” perhaps from the years of association first with my and then my children’s academic calendar. Fall also happens to be my favorite season. I revel in the sharp air, the achingly blue skies, the crackle and crunch of dried pods and leaves beneath my feet. There is nothing like being beneath a swirl of bright yellow maple or birch leaves as they swirl and dance around me.

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Welcome to Studio Muse!

Welcome to Studio Muse!

As the world slowed down…

I hunkered in at home, anxious and forced to live more and more with my own thoughts. I found myself increasingly aware and more conscious of my inner dialogue - muttering away, jotting down notes, asking myself questions aloud.

I heard the same from many of my artist friends. This forced pause encouraged an examination of my current path in life and art; in my priorities, desires, sense of gratitude, and purpose. I sensed the fragility of life and human connection. I felt my need of others, and of community.

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