Immediately roadblocks…

When Lynn Farrand, the curator of the Contemporary Museum of Art Thousand Oaks (CMATO) called me last spring 2020 to do an iteration of The Memory Project at the museum I was thrilled. Lynn was introduced to my work during the open call for Defining Beauty. My work was not accepted into the exhibition but what Lynn offered was an incredible opportunity. How could I pass this up? Yet how could I do it?

Immediately my doubts, uncertainty and anxiety flooded in. I started thinking of all the roadblocks that would impede my participation: getting the work to California, facilitating participation remotely, and creating a meaningful installation when a number of the original components were too heavy to ship. Lastly, but no less important, what did the sudden looming threat of COVID-19 mean for the logistics?

Trying to think through EVERYTHING

The intricate details seemed insurmountable. With every detail solved there were a million more that were beyond my control. I thought back to my daughter Caroline and her ability to make her imaginings into reality (see Saying Yes. part 1). Her ability to leap even when she doesn’t have every detail figured out. So, I said Yes. Outwardly enthusiastic, but with great inner trepidation!

Letting go and allowing space

I began to let go of creating an exact replication, allowing visions of the installation in another space to energize and challenge me. Solutions started bubbling up and possible alternatives presented themselves when I was walking, gardening, and working on other series in my studio. My brain was figuring it out and exploring it on its own. Collaborating with a curator changed my viewpoint and I learned to see the project through another’s eyes. It was exciting to see other equally compelling possibilities of presentation. I found several tabletop card catalogs that I could carry in a suitcase to California. When COVID restrictions prevented that, I was able to ship the components because of their more manageable size.

Lynn and I figured out participation during COVID. Lynn and her fellow museum assistants gamely learned my installation process and installed the components - re-stringing over 350 waxed memory strips and hanging them among the hand printed gampi panels of memories. Lynn and Nshan Melkonian waxed and added new memory submissions as they arrived. CMATO created wonderful wall signage. When the museum closed due to COVID restrictions, Lynn worked to extend the exhibit through August 2021.

The tools needed to travel further

The challenges this project presented gave me the tools I needed to consider traveling The Memory Project to other venues. I recognize that by believing in and allowing the process to unfold, unexpected, resonant and wonderful things can start to happen. I accept that each iteration might not be what I originally envision, but also will not be a catastrophe. I am learning to trust that I have the tools, creativity and problem-solving skills to figure out whatever obstacles arise. I just need to get out of my own way!

I take a breath. I let go. And say YES… the results often take my breath away.

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