I own this little piece by my artist friend Annette Lieblein.

It is a collage where you can see the word yes stenciled on it. She shared with me that when she was little, she did not like being told no and so she wrote the word yes over and over on pieces of paper and strung them from her ceiling. I love this image of a small girl looking up at and being surrounded by “Yes.” Yes to life. Yes to possibility. Yes.

We are a family of worriers, fraught with anticipatory anxiety, always trying to suss out all possible outcomes before proceeding. All, that is, except my middle daughter Caroline. Creative, optimistic and idealistic, she is a “leaper.” She can imagine something into being and then she’s off. Making it happen. There are times where it doesn’t work out but I dare say overall she has achieved more, tried more, pushed past boundaries more quickly than me while I stand here wringing my hands. I have thought a lot about what might help me fight this tendency. The belief that everything needs to be figured out ahead of time with all the t’s crossed and i’s dotted, can get in the way of moving forward.

When opportunity beckons

When opportunity beckons, I experience initial excitement followed quickly by doubts, uncertainty and anxiety. Unhelpful thoughts weasel in: The work is… 'not ready’…‘not good enough’. Simple logistical concerns suddenly loom large enough to impede participation.

I remember lying in bed the night before applying for a solo show at Silvermine Artists Guild. I had devised an ambitious project in scale and concept. I was overwhelmed and then a momentary feeling of calm settled over me and I thought: “Just leap. Leap and you will figure out the rest when the time comes.” There is such a funny push-pull between thinking big and fearing what that might require.

When first imagining a large-scale installation I tend to think of it as already complete, when I haven’t even started the necessary work. At this point it is all a lovely perfection in my head. Wading in, there are numerous false starts, the exhilaration as new ideas coalesce, process and material failures, trepidation, and anticipation. A crazy roller coaster of trial and error and emotion. But beneath it all is the work. And my belief in the work.

Mental readiness

There are aspects of the process that encourage me to leap: a tweak-able artist statement, sketched out proposal, a portfolio of available work. However, there is also a certain level of trust necessary: in the work, in myself and my vision and capabilities, as well as my capacity to problem solve, be flexible and adaptive. Basically I need to trust myself to figure it out. I have come to understand that the most important factor is a mental readiness.

Taking a leap

An open mind that allows consideration of all sorts of possibilities; a willingness to put myself out there, risk, experiment, and recognize my boxes so that i can push myself beyond those limits. Flexibility, a positive attitude and willingness to hear others’ ideas and concerns especially when collaborating. I can take into consideration what is required materially, physically, emotionally, financially. I can determine whether the opportunity fits within my artistic goals. But it all starts with taking a leap. Hitting that submit button, throwing my hat in the ring. It all starts with saying yes.

Part 2: Saying Yes, even to the unexpected…

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